Thursday, July 10, 2008

Ahhh-choo

So it's that time of year where I'd love to tell the trees and other plants to go **** themselves, but that's exactly what the problem is. All these plant gametes floating around in the air, stirring my immune system into a frenzy. I am grateful that Benadryl does NOT make me drowsy, because it keeps me somewhat functional--it just quiets down my overexcited immune system so I can go about my day. I need to be able to answer my phone without sounding like Alex Olsen (google it :P) because I've had a LOT of calls for my business lately (go me!).

This is what it's like, sort of:

Me: Excuse me, but this itchy eyes, runny nose, sneezing thing is really annoying. Is this really necessary?

My immune system: OH MY GOD yes, there are all these INVADERS and they have to be DEALT WITH!

Me: Yeah, um, about that...seems most OTHER people are able to get along with the same "invaders" without all that nonsense.

MIS: Maybe THEIR immune systems don't know the TRUTH!!!!!!!

Me: Riiiight. Just like the "truth" about peanuts, and how they must be fought to the (as in, my) death?

MIS: You mock me, but if you knew what I knew about peanuts... *looks shifty-eyed*

Me: That's what you said about my thyroid. And my joints.

MIS: LIKE YOU'VE NEVER MADE A MISTAKE BEFORE!

Me: Okay, okay, chill the **** out already. Here, have a Benadryl.

MIS: Ohhhh *nom nom nom* My favorite! Sleepy now, will be taking a break.

Me: Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for small miracles. Now if I could only train it to react with as much gusto to ACTUAL diseases, like the flu...

MIS: I HEARD THAT! *gets red and angry*

Me: Here, have another Benadryl, and STFU already.

MIS: Ooooh....ZzzzZZzzzZzZZ

7 comments:

darthsnugglebun said...

*snorts pop onto keyboard* I've had that conversation so, so many times (sans Benadryl though, makes me feel like all the bad parts of being drunk without any of the fun of getting there). I love my immune system, I just wish it weren't so....overeager.

Mrs.Millur said...

I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one having wacky internal dialogue with various body parts.
This has been very reassuring. Thank you.

nukkingphutz said...

I definitely feel your pain. I didn't even know I HAD allergies until I told my grandmother that I felt like I'd had a cold for an entire year. (I was a pre-teen at the time.) It wasn't until I said something to her that she thought to have me checked out by the doctor.

Luckily, the climate here (NE UK) isn't nearly as bad, so my allergies don't act up even half as much as they did when I lived back home (Chicago area). For the most part, I can go completely without medication, it's that different.

But I don't think I'll ever forget what it was like to step foot out the door and feel like my eyes were going to float right out of my head.

laturner said...

I'd never thought of that before... if you react so quickly to nonharmful things, why doesn't your body really kick the butt of real bugs? Hmm. Hope the Benadryl helps.

Bacon's Mom said...

I felt like this a few weeks ago. Then, I got hold of local, raw, organic honey. Oh, heaven.

The honey need not be raw or organic, though I liked it that way, but it MUST be local to inure you to the pollen. I don't know that it will do much for trees, but most of the other junk floating around should make it into the honey. Take a spoonful every morning and every evening, and you should see a marked decrease (or total cessation) of symptoms in one to two weeks.

Local honey. Best. Thing. Evar.

Imez said...

I just want to say, I've been surfing blogs for an hour and am SO DAMNED HAPPY to have found yours before I gave up.

Also, if Benedryll doesn't make you drowsy, what does?

RioIriri said...

Imez,
Not much, actually--I've been prescribed a couple different muscle relaxers, only to report that they had no effect whatsoever on me. Valium doesn't do much either.

Codeine and its relatives seem to have a stimulant effect instead of making me drowsy.

I do remember getting some anti-nausea stuff in the ER for a couple of really bad things that required surgery, and THAT knocked me out, but no way will I ever say that one should take such a strong drug for that purpose :) I think it was Phenergan or something.