So it's that time of year where I'd love to tell the trees and other plants to go **** themselves, but that's exactly what the problem is. All these plant gametes floating around in the air, stirring my immune system into a frenzy. I am grateful that Benadryl does NOT make me drowsy, because it keeps me somewhat functional--it just quiets down my overexcited immune system so I can go about my day. I need to be able to answer my phone without sounding like Alex Olsen (google it :P) because I've had a LOT of calls for my business lately (go me!).
This is what it's like, sort of:
Me: Excuse me, but this itchy eyes, runny nose, sneezing thing is really annoying. Is this really necessary?
My immune system: OH MY GOD yes, there are all these INVADERS and they have to be DEALT WITH!
Me: Yeah, um, about that...seems most OTHER people are able to get along with the same "invaders" without all that nonsense.
MIS: Maybe THEIR immune systems don't know the TRUTH!!!!!!!
Me: Riiiight. Just like the "truth" about peanuts, and how they must be fought to the (as in, my) death?
MIS: You mock me, but if you knew what I knew about peanuts... *looks shifty-eyed*
Me: That's what you said about my thyroid. And my joints.
MIS: LIKE YOU'VE NEVER MADE A MISTAKE BEFORE!
Me: Okay, okay, chill the **** out already. Here, have a Benadryl.
MIS: Ohhhh *nom nom nom* My favorite! Sleepy now, will be taking a break.
Me: Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for small miracles. Now if I could only train it to react with as much gusto to ACTUAL diseases, like the flu...
MIS: I HEARD THAT! *gets red and angry*
Me: Here, have another Benadryl, and STFU already.