Friday, March 7, 2008

Reading comprehension

Some of the more idiotic troll comments I've gotten have been along the lines of, "Good luck finding someone to be attracted to you!" and "Tell yourself it's okay to be fat, but you'll be alone your whole life unless you're thin!"

These comments just tell me that the people making them are not very bright. I've made no secret of the fact that I am quite happily married. I have not mentioned that we have sex, lots of it, with both parties thoroughly enjoying it. No, my being fat does not make it difficult for us to have sex. We do it like most other people, penis in vagina (not penis in a "fat fold" like fat hating idiots often claim). Sometimes he's on top. Sometimes I'm on top, and no, it doesn't suffocate him or hurt him; he often requests it, in fact. Yes, he does perform oral sex on me; he really enjoys doing it, and no, I am not unsanitary down there or anywhere else--I bathe just like thin people do. (Sorry you had to read this paragraph, mom)

I mean, really, people. Is that what this is about? Is it like homophobia, where people get all upset because their dirty little minds go right to imagining the BUTTSEX involved, and get mad at two men who are doing nothing but holding hands in public, just because the homophobes have overactive imaginations? You see a fat person, and you don't have enough of an understanding of the mechanics of sex to keep your little mind from running ridiculous scenarios of how they would be having sex? Or is it the fear that these people, whom you don't find attractive, are going to make you have sex with them? That a fat woman or a gay man won't be able to control themselves around your oh-so-thin-and-sexy body and rape you? There is an easy solution to this: Grow up and stop making everyone around you into sex objects, and stop acting like you are the center of the fucking universe. I swear, it is so fucking ridiculous to see people having a hissy fit when they aren't the object of desire of people they aren't actually interested in, yet getting equally offended when they are.

Oh, and, as for me being fat and lonely, I present to you Exhibit A:


Anonymous said...

Trolls exist on autopilot. That is all I can figure out.

Megan said...

Aww, such a cute photo!

I've gotten that too. YOU WILL BE ALONE AND MISERABLE. Wait, what? You're not, you say? Liar!

It is sad, really, for the reasons you mention.

I think it's partially that many of these thin people who behave this way are thin only because of deprivation and sacrifice, sacrifices they made because they believed being thin was the only way to be happy. Therefore, being thin MUST ABSOLUTELY be the only way to be happy, or it invalidates all the awful stuff they did to themselves to get that way.

Anonymous said...

I love that picture. It is so sweet!

Siv Bente said...

Can I be a little bit jealous? You look so happy and in love in that picture...

Fat Angie said...

That's an adorable picture! You and your husband look so much in love! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :D

Yeah, those trolls are jerks.

beck said...

What a great photo. You two are so cute together! Really!

Laura said...

Aww what a cute photo! And such a pretty dress!

And this may be off-topic, but I don't really get why people think we all WANT to be totally sexy and irresistable to everyone else all the time. The rare few times I've been ogled I did not find the experiences pleasant at all!! So even aside from intellectually, I guess on a gut level I find it repulsive being turned into nothing more than a sex object to random strangers.

April D said...

I love your dress and yes, as mentionned already a couple times, the look of love you are both sharing. Wonderful picture. :)

I think what bothers me most about trolls assuming fat folks can't get laid is that almost NEED to prove that "Nut uh! See? I'm totally married and happy". When really, it is none of anyone else's fucking business if I'm in a relationship or not. It just re-inforces that similar concept where women have to work harder to seem comparable to a man; so too do fat people seem to need to prove their happiness with life more vigorously (and my symphathies to folks who don't have someone to shove in a troll's face as said "proof" of desireablility) in order to match the assumed happy that is the magic of being more representative of the current "attractive" and or "thinner" standards.

Here's a newsflash trolley-folks; there are plenty of single THIN folks too. Beauties and Uglies, Fatties and Lean folks; we all have a variety of relationships. Some of us are romantically involved and *gasp* some are NOT!

Relationships happen at ALL sizes and walks of life; despite what said troll(s) might think. However, MOST importantly, NO ONE needs to have a romantic relationship to show-off in order to prove their worth!!! A person is not immediately the "loser" you portray them to be merely because they are not at the moment part of a couple!

We are all humans and as such we ALL deserve basic respect; so trollers need to bugger off and mind their own business!

Hope that all made sense...think I rambled a bit :blush:


Colin said...

That's a wonderful picture :)

Why do you think the "But how do you have the sex?" is always the most pressing question?

Seriously. A woman who works with disability rights says that folks will ask total strangers in wheelchairs, on crutches, whatever, how they have sex. "But how do two women have sex?" "Wait, you're trans? How do you have sex?"

It's weird. I mean, there are only so many different ways to insert tab a into slot b. Or, y'know, tab b into slot c. Or whatever.

Carrie said...

It makes me really angry that you would even have to defend yourself against the insults referenced in that paragraph. But I am glad that you're too wise to internalize that BS.
You're beautiful and the love you and your husband share is beautiful too.

Anonymous said...

Yay, Rio! ^_^

That's why I love your blog--honest, straight-forward and telling it like it is. I'm not fat (I'm only 21, but maybe I will be someday after kids and stuff like that) but it's a comforting thought to know that life will still be just as normal and filled with sexy-time. Hoorah! To hell with the trolls, some people will complain about anything and everything. A kind old man once told me "You can give some people diamonds and they'll complain about how the sparkling hurts their eyes".

If you were thin, someone would STILL complain about the post anyway all like "Ooh, yur not appost ta tawk bout dee sex" so whatever. Keep the great posts coming!

Anonymous said...

As a queer, and as a fattie, I think people get so huffy about the: OMG! GAY SEX! FAT SEX! stuff because they are denying a curiosity or a potential attraction to it within themselves. Truly. Why else would they be so opposed to it? Let's think about it. Queer sex and fat sex don't really involve anyone except the people who desire it, right? But there are all sorts of people who are so disgusted by it, and have to troll out their disgust in public forums, like your blog, or the media, or wherever else. It's unhealthy! It's morally wrong! You are trying to make us all attracted to your sick, wrong lifestyle! Oh please. All of those arguments are ridiculous and fallable.

Human nature is such: We often despise and go to great lengths to point out the inherent wrong-ness in the very things we are afraid to admit that we desire ourselves. Thus, people being homophobic and decrying "buttsex" (because we can't get over sex being about penetration of some sort.) Or people hating fat women and saying fat sex is disgusting. It draws a nice little line in the sand, it says: I am not gay or even remotely gay because I have publicly decried buttsex! I am not fat nor remotely fat because I have publicly decried fat sex! And what is the reason for that? Because clearly these people are afraid of their own natures, their own desires, their own human possiblities that perhaps they are curious about gay sex, fat sex, fat bodies, gay life.

At best, its infantile and immature and lacks an insight into their own psyche. At worst its hateful and murderous.


ciocia said...

Why even bother with trolls to this extent? You are letting crazy people live rent free in your head. They are probably never getting laid, and are writing nasty comments from their momma's basements.

mumboj said...

Wow, these people spend a whole lot of time hating, they must think about how much they hate fat people over and over again, why doesn't that embarrass them? Thinking about how people have sex whether they have a partner or not, don't they have anything going for them?

Even if what they're saying was true, how would that make them feel better?
They sound desperate to affect someone, in this case by trying to provoke, to prove to themselves that they matter to someone, that is true loneliness of the spirit, we should be thankful we are not in that state.

They could choose to learn from us, see that we refuse to submit to low expectations and become inspired to do the same, instead they seek comapny for their misery.

Anonymous said...

You know what's interesting. From all the hate I've gotten from thin people in regards to being fat, thin people have become rather unattractive to me. Maybe they should consider that they're not going to seem so hot, if all they offer is cruelty and prejudice.

RioIriri said...

They should make a "hot or not" based only on text paragraphs :)

Jennifer said...

Aww. That picture of you and your husband is adorable. I can feel the love. :)

It's almost like living in two different worlds with some of these folks. My husband is attracted to me, not just my body but of course that's part of it. He has continued to be attracted to me across a range of weights and it just doesn't seem like a big deal to me (of course, attraction is very individual and YMMV and stuff). Meanwhile many people out there can't understand how you can be attracted to a fat person without having a "fat fetish," and they consider weight gain grounds for divorce. My life is just not that complicated and fraught. These days I pretty much just feel sorry for them if their lives are truly a 50-pound weight gain (on the part of their spouses) away from abject misery. I think most normal married people just live and love and work, and people gain and lose weight and have kids and have stretch marks and get older and it's all pretty much fine. I mean, that's not to say love is routine or that one isn't incredibly lucky to find a person they want to spend the rest of their life with. It's just hard for me to understand what universe the trolls are even existing in where these questions are a matter of such disgust and grave importance.

Rachael said...

Your husband is very cute!