I'm fat because I hate men

If I wrote tripe like this, I wouldn't be publishing it where anyone could actually read it. For god's sake, woman, have someone edit your work. I am sick of reading poorly written garbage that reads like walking through a mirrored maze during an earthquake. And somebody, please, buy her a keyboard with a working comma key!

However, I suppose it isn't completely fair to dismiss this based entirely on crappy writing. I'll even be kind and assume the "speaking to a kindergartener" tone is because the author writes on a third grade level instead of accusing her of being condescending. Instead, I'll address some of the bullshit contained within the article, starting with the idea that women get fat on purpose to make themselves less attractive.

The first bullshit assumption she makes is this: "When you are obese, you are less sexually attractive. " First of all, she is making an absolute statement about a subjective matter. Second, she does not qualify it--less sexually attractive than what? Than a rabid anteater? Than a used blow-up doll? What's that honey? Just a moment, the husband is whispering to me...Oh. I get it. Than a thin person. She means that fat people aren't as attractive as thin people. Unfortunately, she does not say, "In my opinion," before that statement, she just says it like it's an indisputable fact. Well, sorry, but she's wrong. Some people find thin people sexually attractive. Some people find fat people sexually attractive. Some people find automobiles sexually attractive. It's subjective, and Ms. Rubaum-Keller does not dictate to the world what is and is not sexually attractive. Since the majority of the rest of her article is based on this flawed assumption, I could easily just dismiss it as false, but I'll forge onward regardless.

So here we are, deliberately surrounding ourselves with an armor of adipose tissue so that the icky, scary men don't pester us for nasty, dirty sex. If we are fat, then no man will want us, so we won't ever get abused or taken advantage by them! And if we lose weight, we have to be totally afraid of men running after us as we walk down the street, pestering us, asking us out, and having penises in their pants while they do so! And if you're fat, they leave their penises at home, so you have nothing to worry about. Or something. Because, according to Ms. Rumbaum-Keller, penises only want thin women, because biology makes them go for cute, healthy people, and fat people are not cute or healthy.

Did that make any sense? I'm sorry to say that it made more sense in the above paragraph than it did in the two she used to say it. And, again, she's wrong. For one, if there are women who deliberately get fat just to scare away men, they are a tiny minority. For another, if you ARE getting fat just to keep men from asking you out, it isn't going to work, because fat is not inherently unattractive, and there are plenty of men out there who love women of all sizes. Besides, isn't that rather counter to our usual stereotype of the poor, lonely fatty who wants more than anything to get a date, but can't because she's omg fat? You can't have it both ways folks, and neither is actually true.

However, I also take issue with the idea that fat women are less biologically attractive because "fat is unhealthy". Considering that, biologically, it is only very recently that thin became the "ideal", our species has not had time to evolve into changing its instinctive preferences. Examining the history of our species shows that the fat female figure has been a fertility symbol for thousands of years. This is not to say that thin women are inherently unhealthy or unattractive--I am being inclusive, not exclusive here.

Once we've been patronizingly informed that we don't want to be thin because we might be attractive to males, we are then treated to the idea that our friends will totally hate us out of jealousy if we lose weight. This is because losing weight leads to DATING MEN, and then our friends will be mad at us for not being alone and miserable. Losing weight also makes you pretty, and pretty people are to be hated and treated with snideness and envy, especially if they were formerly the "fat friend" that made other people feel better about themselves.

Do I even need to explain how completely ridiculous this is? As a fat, happily married woman, I can only respond to that by laughing hysterically. As a fat, happily married woman who has had to gently let interested parties down by informing them of her marital status, I spit on this article and its idiocy. I'm sorry, but if my friends only like me because I "make them look good" when we are out together? They don't stay friends for long. I prefer friends who are intelligent and interesting, not shallow idiots who are only thinking about where to get their next lay. If I suddenly lost weight, I am pretty damn sure that my circle of friends would become fearful that I'd become deathly ill or anorexic, and they'd try to help me out. That's what friends do, when they are real friends and not shallow, petty bitches. I'm sorry that Ms. Rubaum-Keller doesn't have real friends, because they're great to have.

To summarize simply: Being fat is not inherently unattractive. Fat girls do indeed attract mates, and there is ample evidence for this. Citing evolutionary biology as a reason for fat being unattractive is not a good idea when you don't really have any understanding of the subject. And you know what? Some of us "stay fat" because we don't think being fat is a bad thing. It has nothing to do with fending off men or not wanting your friends to hate you, and everything to do with having better things to do than put a bunch of effort into conforming to someone else's standards of beauty.