Saturday, December 8, 2007

Short opinion on the Dan Savage thing

People change after marriage. Whether it is the natural result of aging, or something happens, they change. If they are physical changes, those are to be expected of human bodies.

I have to say, if my ex had gotten fat instead of becoming mean, we'd still be together. People who complain about a fat spouse can just STFU, if that spouse is still treating them like a human being. I only wish my problems had been so minor.

I am fortunate enough to have a kind, gentle husband now. If I had to choose between him becoming physically unattractive (without him suffering) and becoming a raging asshole, I would pick the former, and still sleep with him, because I love him.

Edit: I see some who are coming from "My Fat Spouse". I'd like to request that Meowser call the Waaaaaaaaaaahmbulance for y'all. I'm sorry that you're such shallow, selfish people that you actually seem to believe that your spouses gained weight just to spite you.


Kat said...

That is beautiful. I totally agree with you. Kindness, humor, confidence, & humility, are what make a man attrative in my book. Give me those qualities over a buff bod anytime. Buff bods are a dime a dozen, but a truly beautiful soul can sometimes be hard to come by.
Kat@Big Fat Beautiful Kiss

Erishkegal said...

I couldn't agree more. When we got married, hubby's and my vows said "just as you are and however you may change", and we meant it!

This was a real pleasure to see.

vesta44 said...

Totally agree. Kindness and sense of humor were what drew me to my DH, and no matter how he changes physically, I'll still love him. If he turns into an abusive asshat, on the other hand, I'm outa (unless it happens to be from dementia or old timers' disease, then I'll cope).

Shannon said...

I never understood that attitude either. Do people like that not love their spouses when they get bad haircuts? When they get sick and loose too much weight? What if they change their fashion style? What if (gasp!) they get old and start to go gray and get wrinkles? (well, ok, that last one explains mid-life crises and leaving your spouse to run off with people half your age).

Now I happen to think my graying, fat husband is as hot as when I met him but maybe that's because I really love him. HIM. So whatever package he comes in is going to look good to me because I'm wearing rose colored lovey dovey glasses and all ;-)

aebhel said...

tragic though it is, yes, people like that do. My best friend was dumped by her boyfriend of six months because she cut her hair short and dyed it red. He told her that because she KNEW he found long-haired brunettes attractive, she just did it to spite him.

I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.