Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Attachment to dieting

I very recently had someone become upset and offended that I am against fat discrimination. My size-positive essays (posted in my livejournal) and discussions of overcoming an eating disorder were taken to mean that I was just unhappy with my size and too lazy to do anything about it!

At least, that's what she said on the surface. Now that I have had time to think about the situation, I realize that she may have been upset about having been fooled by the thindustry into starving herself to an unnatural size. I was told that her family members are all fat, so she had to battle her genetics. For what, though? To look a certain way? Because that's the only conceivable reason to take on that fight.

My acceptance of my body, and the realization that my body's workings would make it hard for me to "do something about it" anyway, probably frighten her--what if her body betrays her later on with insulin resistance or hypothyroidism? What if all the "work" she puts into being thin no longer keeps her that way? After all, it happened to me.

You starve yourself for a while, and your body may repay you by storing up EVERY possible bit of energy once you recover from your ED. You may get fat. If you get fat, you stand to lose everything that you have used your "thin privilege" to gain--a job, a significant other, popularity, a swanky wardrobe, the list could go on.

I guess I can't blame her for being angry and upset, because she is afraid of being fat. I've lived with being fat for many years, so everything I have in my life is here because of who I am, not what I look like. I know that my husband's presence in my life is not dependent upon my weight. She may get lip service of the same from hers, but I suppose there'd be only one way to find out.

I just wish her fear had taken a different form other than telling me that being fat is a choice, and that I should lose weight, you know?

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(Me doing some field work for a science job I had)

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