Sunday, August 12, 2007

I'm pissed. Strong language warning.

If you are dieting or otherwise trying to lose weight, that is your choice, and if you're happy with it, good for you.

If I am talking about fat people getting treated like garbage, I am not saying that, "You people who are on diets are assholes". I am saying, stop treating people like shit just because they're fat. I am NOT saying, "Skinny people are stupid and should stop being skinny." You are the size you are, and I don't think it's appropriate to pick on someone for being skinny OR fat.

If I am saying that I don't think it is appropriate for dieting and weight loss to be forced upon everyone, that does not mean that I'm saying, "You, there, the person who is dieting--stop it right now."

If I say that I am agnostic, I am not saying, "You there, Catholic person, you're a stupid idiot for being Catholic." I am stating MY beliefs.

See, that's what freedom is--it's about letting other people live their lives without being dicks to them over petty bullshit. Yes, I'm fat. Yes, I'm choosing to stay that way instead of dieting. So what? You might drink, do drugs, eat meat, go skydiving, and do all kinds of other things that may OR MAY NOT be damaging to yourselves--and that's your decision. I'm not telling you to stop doing them, even if your choices (OH MY GOD) increase health insurance costs. It's called life. We're living it in different ways, and we enjoy doing different things.

In other words, my asking for some fucking tolerance is not the same as indicting you for living your life differently. It's just asking that I not be called nasty names, told I'm "too fat" to have a job I can perform perfectly fine at any size/go out in public/wear shorts/eat a cookie/spend time doing something other than running laps/get laid, or otherwise treated like shit. Did I call you a skinny bitch? Did I tell you to go eat a sandwich? Did I tell you you're too thin to be of any value to society? Of course I didn't, because I acknowledge that people of all sizes are valuable. And that your size is not necessarily dependent upon your dietary habits--naturally thin people have just as hard a time putting on weight as naturally fat people do losing it. And, even if it is, it's none of my business what you eat, how much you exercise, or what size clothing you wear because it just isn't.

So, you are free to think that I'm unhealthy because I'm fat. But if you think that it makes me inferior as a person because I don't make it my priority to mold myself into your idea of what is healthy, then I don't know what to tell you besides you do your thing, I'll do mine, and if you happen to be right, you can say "I told you so" to my headstone, and you can feel like you are super awesome. Okay?


mumboj said...

Well said, although I can't help wonder what prompted this post!

It sometimes amazes me how sensitive everyone else is to every little thing, what does it say about them that when we have the audacity to state our natural humanity, it is a direct attack on them? I DO NOT AND NEVER HAVE FELT SLIM PEOPLE ARE THE ENEMY, even when I was trying to lose weight.

Increasingly, I am struggling to maintain a natural sense of what is or isn't offensive, to others, especially when accompanied by a staggering lack of awareness of how rude they are being about us. I am not rude, but sometimes I feel disengaged from what is supposed to be offensive, It's hard to believe that all this is happening because I could no longer stand to hate myself for being fat, I thought it would be all positive from here on, imagine my surprise!

RioIriri said...

I was posting these entries in my livejournal in addition to here, and some nitwit got up in arms about how offended they were that I was "okay with being fat", and how at least THEY "do something about it, unlike you".

I'm also finding that the biggest (no pun intended, honest!) naysayers and offended people are actually not slender. Most of the naturally thin people, surprisingly, have been supportive and generally agree. Maybe it's because they know full well that they stay skinny despite eating twice as much as I do, and therefore they're much more aware of the mechanics.

Meanwhile, self-hating fat folks might be wishing they really can become thin, if they just do the right things. Perhaps the idea that they do not have control over their bodies is frightening. I don't know, but they are free to pursue weight loss as they wish. We'll always be here when they are tired of the rollercoaster.

annaham said...

I agree with everything you've said in this post! It amazes me that people get so scared that I'm going to call them out for eating meat (I'm a vegetarian) or being religious (I'm an atheist) or whatever. On the other side of that coin, I'm also amazed whenever someone who has beliefs opposite of mine tries to "get" me on their side. I always want to say, "Look, just because I have different eating habits from you doesn't mean that I'm 'deprived' or something. In fact, I could care less that you eat meat or whatever the fuck."

ALSO: I am adding you to my LJ friends list (I'm annaham).

Sarah said...

I think you're amazing. I was talking to a friend the other day and I said something like, "I think all women are at war with their bodies."

Thanks for reminding me that it isn't so, and doesn't have to be so.

onceupon said...


Other fat people and formerly fat people are the most vicious when it comes to criticizing the fat acceptance movement, I have found.

Part of it, I think, stems from the privileged position that dieting enjoys in our culture - it's seen as a sign of virtue. So when we remove that virtue, that privilege, by saying we aren't going to value it, people who DO value it see it as an attack.

(Also, this is The Rotund but blogger is a pain in the ass when I am trying to log in under that account!)