Secondly, I have been in the process of moving over the weekend. It's been very long and arduous, so I have spent the past couple of days in an extreme amount of pain. I've discovered a corollary to spoon theory. I'm going to call it "The Knife Corollary".
The Knife Corollary states that it is possible for some chronic pain sufferers to continue their activities when they have run out of spoons, but when they do so, they are using up knives instead. Because of the nature of knives vs. spoons, running on knives involves a great deal of pain which worsens as the activity continues. Additionally, using knives will require an even greater recovery period and amount of pain medication than would mere depletion of spoons.
I ran out of spoons quite early on this week, and every box lifted, every furnishing nudged, and every cat scooped up on the brink of escape has been an exercise in agony. Fortunately, we are mostly done (just have to bring over the aquarium and the fridge contents, then clean up).
The hardest part of this weekend was relinquishing duties to other people. We have a LOT of very generous, helpful friends who came through for us in a big way. Even so, every moment I had to rest was fraught with guilt and shame because these people were breaking their own backs because I couldn't push any harder. They told me to stop doing so much and took things away from me, and I still feel bad. I couldn't do the same for them, and I often don't have the energy to even socialize as much as I'd like. That's the life of someone whose body has so heinously betrayed her, though--to have to accept more than can ever be repaid.
In a nutshell, I'm going to be pretty wiped out for a couple of days, but I hope to be back and writing all the stuff I've had on my mind. I keep extensive notes on my thoughts, but they're packed or lost or SOMETHING, and I'll just have to come up with new stuff.