Thursday, January 24, 2008

A reminder: You don't have to be a sex object

It's been a while since this post was talked about in the blogosphere, and I think we should all re-read it and get a refresher.

We need to be reminded that "the pervasive idea that women owe it to onlookers to maintain a certain standard of decorativeness" is wrong. I agree with the post on A Dress A Day when she says:
Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female".

I also believe that this applies to men. Taking up space is not a crime. Being a living being is not something you should apologize for, no matter what you look like. And yet, we find people every day who spew hate against other living beings for simply existing. The real sickness here is not fat. It is hate, and it needs to be eradicated.


April D said...

Oh my goodness. Now I have another blog to be addicted to. The entire idea that I don't OWE it to ANYONE to not offend their sense of taste in the off chance they might glance my way is sadly a shocking one. I think my jaw dropped when I read that pretty doesn't equal rent for existing. Thank you so much for pointing me to the dress a day blog!

annaham said...

Um, YES.

The other day, I was walking around with a friend (and on a day when I was having a massive fibro attack), and some d-bag dude yelled at me: "Smile, it's all gonna be okay!" I wanted to hiss at him and say, "No, it isn't, and you have no idea what I'm going through at this exact moment. I do not owe you a smile, dumbass, so shut your assholian mouth and mind your own fucking business."

Now that I think about it, I should have said something, but I was too exhausted to do so. I get remarks like that a lot, and it always pisses me off. I do not owe anyone a smile, just like I (and other women) do not owe anyone "attractiveness" or a look (not smiling) that doesn't fit in with their narrow worldview.

StarWatcher said...

I remember that entry. Someone pointed my way to it about a year ago, and I liked it so much that I quoted a couple of paragraphs, and linked to it in my LJ. It was so refreshing -- I don't "owe" being "pretty" to anyone.

The next morning, I awoke to find a response by an anonymous [of course!] troll. He must have been frothing at the mouth as he wrote that I was sick and fucked up, and that my attitude demonstrated how all feminists hate men. He finished by suggesting that I be violently punished by some man -- I'm sure you know how.

Unbelievable; he couldn't have been more outraged if I had suggested locking away all men during the hours of 6 PM to 6 AM. It really brought home how warped some parts of our society has become, and how much we need to move into accepting people as they are -- fat acceptance, gender acceptance, sexuality acceptance, appearance acceptance, etc, etc, etc. I dream of the day when 'live and let live' has the force of law, along with 'treat others as you wish to be treated'.

Of course, that will require massive transplants of 'empathy'. Maybe some scientist could synthesize and put it in a pill...